AMANQAKU ONcedo. Abantu bokwenyani abaphume baphile i-LGBT Life. Banokufumana iingcebiso ngobuchule, inkxaso yemvakalelo evela kubahlobo kunye nosapho kwaye ukuba bayafuna, umthandazo. Zezi zinto urhulumente afuna ukuzikhupha, azibize ngokuba zinguquko.

Abantu abane kwiividiyo, kwaye abanye abantu abali-13 babelana ngamabali abo abhaliweyo kweli phepha.

Le vidiyo yokuqala yemizuzu eli-10 inokubamba okufutshane kodliwano-ndlebe olude ukunika imbonakalo ekhawulezileyo yabantu abane ababelana ngamabali abo malunga nokuphuma kubomi babo be-LGBT. Abanye bathetha ngenxalenye yengcebiso “yonyango lwenguquko” edlalwa ukubanceda.

Bathetha ngeentlungu ezenziwa kubo ngabacebisi behlabathi abafuna ukunyanzelisa iinkolelo zabo, bezama ukungqinisisa inkcubeko yabo.

Udliwanondlebe olugcweleyo unokumamela apha.

Funda okanye umamele abanye abaBelana naMabali abo.

U-Andrew P.

Ndandineminyaka eyi-24, xa ndafikayo kwicawa yam yendawo endandikuyo, uncedo malunga nokudakumba kunye nomtsalane wesini esifanayo. Andifuni ukuba nomtsalane kubantu besini esifanayo. Ndinabahlobo ababengathandana nesini esinye. Khange ndibenangxaki nazo, kodwa okwam, andizifuni. Ayizange ihambisane nengqondo yam, kwaye ndifuna ukuba ngumfazi nabantwana kwixesha elizayo. Ke kuhambo lwam ndafumana uncedo ngokucebisa kunye nokuthandazwa kwiicawe ezahlukeneyo kunye neenkonzo. Ezi zazifumaneka kuyo yonke iMelbourne Victoria. Azange kube kanye apho ndakhe ndatyhalelwa okanye ndenziwa ukuba ndizive ndonakaliswa zezi cawa okanye iinkonzo. Babesamkela kakhulu abantu be-LGBT, kwaye benothando kwaye kumnandi, ngamanye amaxesha bendiqinisekile ukuba bazakundinceda nditshintshe. Bendihlala ndiboniswa uthando kunye nenkululeko yokwenza nantoni na endiyifunayo ngokubhekisele kumtsalane wesini esifanayo.

La mava, ngokusebenzisa ingcebiso kunye nokuthandaza kunye neecawe kunye neenkonzo, kwandinceda uxinzelelo lwam lwanyamalala kwaye lwasusa ixhala lam. Ekuhambeni kwexesha umdla wam wesini esifanayo nawo wanyamalala. Njengoko ndibhala oku ndineminyaka eyi-35, ndonwabile emtshatweni ndinabantwana ababini kwaye ndifuna ukuba ngumfazi wam yedwa. Andizisoli ngokutshata kwaye andikaze ndicinge ngokuba nesini esifanayo. Ndiyabuthanda ubomi bam kwaye ndiyazi ukuba kungenxa yezi nkonzo kunye neecawe, kunye noThixo, ezitshintshileyo kum. Ezi ntlobo zonyango zinothando kwaye ziluncedo. Andiqondi ukuba kutheni kukho intshukumo yokubanqanda.

URuth E.

Kubalulekile ukuba thina kunye nesini sitsale abantu abasembandezelweni okanye kwintlungu banokufumana uhlobo loncedo esinxibelelana nalo. Ndakhangela ubulungiseleli bobuKristu bokundinceda ukujongana nomtsalane wesini samntu omnye, kuba imibutho yehlabathi ayikhathalelanga okanye iphikisana nenxalenye yezenkolo, ngenxa yoko andinakukwazi ukuvula ngokupheleleyo kubo Ngethamsanqa, ndiye ndafumana ubulungiseleli bobuKristu obujongana nokwaphula ulwalamano, ngaphandle kokuzama ukuthembisa okanye ukunyanzelisa Ukunyamekelwa kwabo kusindise ubomi bam, kwandula kakhulu ukudideka kwam kunye nokubandezeleka, kwandinika abahlobo abaqondayo ukuba ndithethe nabo, ndabuyisela impilo yam yengqondo kwiminyaka emibini ezayo, kwaye sihlala sinxibelelana, ngaphezulu kweminyaka eyi-5 kamva. Nceda ugcine abanye abafana nam bangayithatheli eyona ndlela imbi yokuphuma.

Steve W.

Ndiqale "ukuphuma" njengendoda yesithembu kwii-20s zam zokuqala kwaye nangona ndandingafuni ukuzilingisa iindlela zam zesini, kodwa ndaziva ndinoxolo naloo mntu. Kungekudala emva koko, ndafikelela kwisigqibo sokuba ndikhethe ubomi bokungatshati kunye nokusebenzela uThixo kubulungiseleli bobuKristu. Zange kube kudala emva kokuba ndadibana nentombazana eyiChristian eyandivuselela umdla wobungqingili kum, ndingazange ndivakalelwe ngaphambili (kude kube lelo nqaku ndandisoloko ndichonga njengobufanasini

Inkxaso endiyifunayo kwenye yeecawa zam zasekhaya ukunceda ukuqonda yonke le nto yayiluncedo ekusekeni isimo sam sokwabelana ngesondo kwindlela entsha entsha. Ndifuna ukugxininisa ukuba, nangaliphi na ixesha, ngezo ntsuku zokuqala, okanye ngeenkqubo zokufumana iingcebiso ngokusesikweni kwiminyaka yamuva, ngaba zikho naziphi na iindlela zonyango ezibizwa ngokuba yi 'Reparative Therapy'. Gay ukuya ngqo kwakungeyiyo njongo. Kumava am akuzange kubekho nakuphi na ukunyanzelwa, iindlela zokwenza dodgy 'eziphindaphindayo' okanye iingcebiso zokuba ndizame indlela ye-'fake-it-till-you-make-it'. Ngokuchasene noko, ndadibana nothando olungenamiqathango kunye nenkxaso kunye nokukhuthaza ukunikezela ubomi bam ezandleni zikaThixo (esele ndizenzile) nokunikezela isini sam kuye. Ngoku ndikwii-40s zam kwaye ndiye ndafunda ukuba azifane zilungiswe ngokukhawuleza kwezi meko, kodwa ndingatsho ngokunyaniseka ukuba ndiziva ndonwabile kulwalamano lothando kunye nokusondelana ngesondo nomfazi wam kunangaphambili. Ukusukela ngoku ndafunda ukuba zininzi izinto ezinegalelo kuhlobo lwam lokwabelana ngesondo, endiye ndafumana ithuba lokulenza kwaye ndihambise ngaphaya, amathuba anokube endiyekisa, ukuba bendiyekisiwe uhlobo lwenkxaso eyaye yafumaneka kum. kuyo yonke loo minyaka.

Ndidibene namanye amadoda kunye nabasetyhini abanobungqina obufanayo, abanye babo baba ngabahlobo abalungileyo, kunye nabo abangazange bazive banomdla kwisini esahlukileyo, kodwa bakhetha ukungatshati njengoko bendikhe ndanabo, kwaye abanye bakhetha Yamkela inkcubeko yabo yobufanasini kwaye benze konke okusemandleni abo ukuzama nokuxolelanisa oku kunye nokholo lwabo lobuKristu-ndibathanda bonke, ngaphandle kweenkolelo zethu. Ndikhe ndaya nakwiindibano zolungiselelo lwenkonzo yokuhlangula ngokwesini evela kwilizwe lonke kwaye ndingatsho ngokunyaniseka, ukuba akukho nto ndiyibonileyo okanye ndiyivileyo eyakhe yafana ntetho rhetoric ethi 'Reparative Therapy' ebizwa ngokuba yenziwa ngala maqela. Kwakhona, okona kuchaseneyo inyani, kugxininiswa kakhulu ekuzihambiseni kwizenzo ezinjalo.

Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, andenzanga ngoma kunye nomdaniso malunga namava am, kodwa ndiye ndachukunyiswa kukushukuma okungenalwazi kwamaqela amancinci anqabileyo ukuvala ulungiselelo lwenkonzo yokuhlangula ngokwesini kubantu abafumana inkxaso, eneneni kukwaphula ilungelo labo ekuzimiseleni ngokwakho! Ngendlela efanayo inkxaso kufuneka yenziwe ifumaneke kwabo bafuna ukuza malunga nokuzibandakanya kwabo ngokwesini esifanayo, inkxaso kufuneka iqhubeke yenzelwa abo bangathanda ukwenza ezinye iindlela. Ke, ndiziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba 'ndiphume' kwakhona, ndingasendoda njengendoda eyodwa. Ukuba abantu abakholelwa kuThixo okanye kwiimfundiso zebhayibhile, banelungelo lokukhetha indlela eyahlukileyo, kodwa nceda ungabali abanye abantu abanqwenela ukulandela ukholo lwabo ithuba lokufumana into efana nam ukuba ndifuana u.

UAndy W.

Nceda ungayithinteli into oyibiza ngokuba “Ngonyango lokuguqula.” Ibango lakho liyingozi kwaye linokubangela ukuba abantu bazibulale, kodwa ndiyifumene IXESHA. Bendixakiwe kwaye ndizimisele ukuzibulala ngaphambi kokuba ndicetyiswe, kwaye ndizolile kwaye ndonwabile ngoku. Ingcebiso (okanye "iTransion Therapy") yajonga ukuba kutheni na ndifumana amadoda athile enomdla kwaye kutheni ndajonga imifanekiso ethile engamanyala, kodwa ke ndazilungisa indlela endijonga ngayo malunga nobudoda bam obuvela kwimikhwa emininzi yobuntwana. Isiluleko esiqwalasele ezi traumas zihambelana neenkolelo zam (kwaye ngokuchasene ne-LGBTQI + yexabiso) kwaye ngoku andinangxabano yangaphakathi, akukho mnqweno wokuzenzakalisa, ndiziva ndikhuselekile, ndizithembile kwaye ndizolile. Ndizichaza ngqo ezi mvakalelo zilungileyo kunye nengcebiso yokuba abanye banokuthi "unyango lokuguqula". Nceda ungayiyeki le ndlela yokufumana iingcebiso.

U-Emma T.

NdingumKristu kodwa ndikhe ndafumana umdla wesini esifanayo kwaye ndibandakanyeke kubudlelwane besini esifanayo kwi-4 iminyaka kwi-20 yam yokuqala. NjengomKristu, bendiyiqonda imfundiso yeBhayibhile malunga nokwabelana ngesondo kunye nobudlelwane kwaye ndifuna ukuphila ubomi obumzukisa uThixo. Ndifumanise malunga neqela lenkxaso yamaKristu emazantsi eSydney apho ndingadibana namanye amadoda nabafazi abangamaKristu abanomtsalane wesini esifanayo kodwa bekhetha ukuphila ngendlela kaThixo. Eli qela lenkxaso lalisindisindisa ubomi. Ndiye ndakwazi ukuthetha nabanye abakwimeko efanayo apho ndandigwetywa khona kwaye ndaxhaswa kwindlela endikhethileyo. Ndikhule kakhulu ekuqondeni kwam uthando lukaThixo ngam kunye nexabiso lam kunye nokuxabiseka kuye. Ngaphambi kokufumana le nkxaso, bendiziva ndindedwa, ndinxunguphele kwaye ndingenathemba, kodwa emva kokungena kweli qela ndaxhaswa kwaye ndakhuthazeka. Ndikhe ndaya kwiqela lenkxaso njengoko ndilifumene liluncedo kwaye linika ubomi. Ndaye ndaqhubeka nokukhokela eli qela kunye nelinye iqela njengoko bendifuna ukuxhasa kwaye ndinike ithemba kwabanye njengoko ndizibonele ngokwam.

Ndiyaqonda ukuba imithetho iyaxoxwa eVictoria enokuthi ithintele inkxaso enje ukuba ibe semthethweni kwixesha elizayo. Nceda ungayeki amaqela enkxaso anje ekubeni angakwazi ukuqhubeka. Abantu banelungelo lokuzimela nokuzikhethela indlela elungileyo ebakho. Nceda uqaphele ibali lam kunye nelungelo labantu lokwenza ukhetho olusekwe kukholo malunga nendlela abaphila ngayo. Sifuna nenkxaso.

UPete N.

Ndikhathazeke kakhulu ndisiva lo mthetho usayilwayo ubekwa phambi kwepalamente ukuba uzame nokuthintela abantu ukuba bafumane uncedo kwindlela yokuphila yobungqingili okanye yesini. Ndiyaqonda ukuba abanye abantu babenamava awoyikisayo kwiminyaka emininzi eyadlulayo ngento abanye abathi yonyango “lwenguquko”. Kwaye intliziyo yam iya ngaphandle kwabo bantu. Amava am eCawa akukho nto yafana namanye amabali ebonakala esenza iintloko. Ndithetha njengomntu owayelilungu le-4 yamahlelo obuKristu ahlukeneyo kwisithuba sonyaka we-30. Kwaye ndaye ndayiyeka icawe iminyaka ye-14 ukuba ndiphile ubomi obunobungqingili. Eli libali lam.

Kwiminyaka yam ephakathi ye-30 ndiye ndashiya i-Cawa ndisiya kuhlola ubungqingili kwaye ndibona ukuba iyakundizalisekisa. Ekuqaleni, ndifumana umyalezo wokuba zonke iiklabhu kunye nezibane ezikhanyayo kunye namaqela. Idityaniswe nayo yonke ingqwalaselo oyamkelayo yokuba "ngumntu omtsha" kwiklabhu. Ndichithe iminyaka ye-14 kuloo ndlela yokuphila kwaye ndadibana neyona ndoda imangalisayo ngeli xesha. Sasindawonye iminyaka engaphezu kwe-6. Ndisamthanda kakhulu njengomhlobo. Intsapho yakhe yayingabantu abamangalisayo kakhulu. Baye bandamkela kwaye bandibandakanya kuyo yonke into abayenzayo. Andikwazi ukubagxeka. Kodwa nangona bendinalo iqabane elimangalisayo elandiphatha njengenkosi, bendivuka ezinzulwini zobusuku ndinenye iinyembezi emehlweni am. Indlela yokuphila endandicinga ukuba iza kundizisela ulonwabo, yandisondeza kubunzulu boxinzelelo kuba ayindinike uxolo lwangaphakathi oluvela ekwazini uThixo. Leyo yinto engenakwenzeka ukuba ichaze umntu ongazange abe ngumkristu kwaye onobudlelwane be-DEEP kunye noThixo.

Emva kweminyaka eli-10 ndiqalise ukukhangela indlela yokuphuma. Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndadibana eRenew kwaye ndanxulumana nezinye zeenkokheli. Badibana nam kwikofu. Undinike ithemba kwaye wandazisa ukuba abantu abaninzi baphume kule ndlela yokuphila kwaye bafumana uxolo endandilufuna. Ngapha koko akukho bantu baye bazama ukusebenzisa amandla okanye ukundinyanzela ukuba nditshintshe indlela endiphila ngayo. Kwakunjalo kuzo zonke iicawa ezine endandisiya kuzo kwiminyaka edlulileyo. Akukho nkokeli okanye mntu owakhe wandigatya kuba ndandilwela ubufanasini. Baye basondela kum eluthandweni kangangoko banako kwaye bandinceda ngokundithandaza ngalo lonke ixesha lobomi bam. Babelana ngento ethethwe yibhayibhile ngesihloko sobufanasini kwaye bahambisa ingxelo kunye nezigqibo zesigqibo ngasinye. Kodwa ibikukuba ndimfumene lo myalezo okanye ndiwaliwe. Ndinokudumisa kuphela bonke abantu abohlukeneyo neenkokeli ezivela kwiiCawe endandisoloko ndiyinxalenye kule minyaka idlulileyo. Kwaye ngokukodwa i-RENEW yokuma ecaleni kwam ngelixa ndithatha enye iminyaka emi-5 ngaphambi kokuba ndenze isigqibo sokuyishiya indlela yokuphila. Azange nakanye bandinyanzele okanye bandinyanzele ukuba ndiyiyeke le ndlela yokuphila. Amaxesha amaninzi babelapho njengegxa lokukhala. Umntu endinokumcaphukisa ngubani owaziyo ukuba yintoni endinengxaki yam kwaye unokwazi ukuyiqonda. Ndiyababulela abo babemi kum ngeli xesha lobomi bam. Ngelixa benyamezele intshutshiso eninzi evela kuluntu lwe-LGBTIQ.

Leliphi ilungelo labantu ekufanele ukuba lizame kwaye BAZE NDIKUFUNE ukufuna uncedo lwendlela yokuphila ngendlela endikhethe ukuhamba ngayo. Nokuba kungenxa yeCawe okanye enye intlangano. Ndinamalungelo amaninzi okushiya indlela yokuphila nangaliphi na ixesha endiyifunayo, njengoko kufuneka beiphile ngayo ukuba bakhetha. Kodwa akukho mntu unelungelo lokunyanzela umbono wabo kwenye.

Namhlanje ndiyiminyaka eyi-2 yokuphuma kuloo ndlela yokuphila kwaye ubomi bam buye baba yinto yonke endinethemba ukuba iya kuyenza. Ndinalo uxolo olungenakuhluthwa mntu. Ndizibona ndisikelelekile ukuba ndinosapho olunothando lweCawe oluninzi lwabantu abahlukeneyo ababemi kum kwaye bandixhasa kuhambo lwam.

Ukuba abantu bafuna ukuphila ngendlela yobungqingili, ke kufanele ukuba babe nelungelo lokwenza loo nto. Kwangolo phawu, ukuba abantu bafuna ukuyishiya le ndlela yokuphila, kufanele bavunyelwe ukuba bafune uncedo ngayo nayiphi na indlela abayikhethayo.

Lyn B.

Ndiqale ukuya kwinkonzo yobuKristu e1994 ukufumana uncedo ngomtsalane wam wesini esifanayo. Bendingafuni kubanjelwa ngokwesini esifanayo kuba ayisihambelani nokholo lwam lobuKristu kwaye ayisiyo eyokwam eyokwenene kodwa ibangelwa ngamava obomi obunzima. Ngale nkonzo ndalufumana uncedo endiludingayo ukuqala ukoyisa umtsalane wam kwaye ndifumana unyango lwangaphakathi. Kuthathe iminyaka embalwa kodwa ngoncedo lwale nkonzo kunye nolunye ulungiselelo lobuKristu, abefundisi kunye nabahlobo abangamaKristu endiye ndakwazi ukoyisa kwaye ngoku ndikhululekile ekutsaleni umdla wesini esifanayo. Ndixhalabile kukuba olu ncedo alunokuthi lubekho kwixesha elizayo kwabanye abaludingayo. Ngokucacileyo ngamava am kunye namava abanye abaninzi ukoyisa umdla wesini esifanayo kunokwenzeka ngenkxaso elungileyo. Nceda ungabakhatali abantu ilungelo lolu ncedo kunye nethuba labo lokuphila ngokuhambelana nokholo lwabo kwaye banokwaziwa nguThixo. Nceda ungabashiyi bodwa ukuba babhekane nale ngxabano.

UDani é Ezard.

Ndinibhalela ukuze ndibelane ngobungqina bam malunga namava aqinisekileyo neendlela zokuguqula, kunye neenkxalabo zam zenkululeko yezenkolo kwiindlela zokuguqula ezivaliweyo eVictoria. Ndikhetha ukungaziwa.

Ndingumfazi waseOstreliya onomtsalane wesini esifanayo okhathalele ukukhuselwa kwenkululeko yenkolo kwisibhengezo esicetyiswayo sokuziphatha eVictoria. Ndizuze isibonelelo esichazwa nguMkomishinala weSikhalazo seMpilo (HCC) njengezenzo zokuguqula. Amava am oku kuncedo oluvela kubacebisi abangamaKristu “kubandakanya inzame zokuphelisa umtsalane wesondo kunye / okanye umdla” endinawo kwabanye abantu basetyhini, kunye noncedo lokuguqula ukuqonda kwam malunga nesini ukuze kuvisisane nokuziphatha ngokwesiko lobuKristu. Ndikhangele oku kucebisa / ukucebisa kwiNgingqi yaseMantla apho ndakhulela khona, kwaye nakumcebisi eVictoria. Ndifumanise ukuncipha koxinzelelo, ukucaca ngakumbi kwengcinga, ubudlelwane obunempilo, kunye negalelo elingcono eluntwini ngokusebenzisa "iindlela zenguquko", kumava am abizwa ngokuchanekileyo ukucebisa okanye ukucebisa ngobuKristu. Ndixhalabile ukuba isibhengezo esicetywayo sikhusela kungekuphela nje abo banamava ayingozi kwendlela zokuguqula, kodwa nabantu abafana nam baxhamle kuqeqesho lobuKristu oluhambelana nentsingiselo ye-HCC malunga nokuguqulwa kwendlela. Ndiyakholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo impembelelo yokuvalwa kokuguqukela kwelungelo lenkululeko yezenkolo AKUKHO BUNGOZI. ”

UJohn D.

Ndifumanise ukuba inkonzo, 'Amanzi aPhilayo' yayiluncedo ngendlela emangalisayo njengoko inika indawo ekhuselekileyo nethembekileyo yokuthetha malunga nemvakalelo yesini kunye nesazisi sesini ngaphakathi komxholo wokholo lwam. Olu lungiselelo kunye nengcebiso ethile malunga nokuxhatshazwa ibe luncedo olukhulu ekuhlanganiseni kwam njengomntu omdala kunye nokuxolelanisa ukholo lwam kunye nomtsalane wam wesondo.

URobson T.

Kwiminyaka yamashumi asibhozo ndalaliswa kwisibhedlele esikhulu seVictorian sifundisa ukudakumba. Xa oogqirha bezonyango bafundile ukuba ukusukela kwiminyaka yokufikisa ndingathanda ukuba ndingumntu obhinqileyo kunokuba ndingeyindoda kwafunyaniswa ukuba ndine-Gender Identity Disorder (GID) kwaye bacebisa ukuba ndenziwe utyando kwakhona lokwabelana ngesondo njengeyona ndlela kuphela endiya kuthi ukwazi ukusombulula imiba kwaye uphile ubomi obuzalisekisiweyo. {Uxinzelelo aluzange luthathelwe ingqalelo kwaye alusathethwa.}

Esibhedlele ndaphawulelwa amatyeli amaninzi oogqirha abathile kunye nabanye ababekhona. Ngoku yayinikwa i-SRS 'kwiplate' - kodwa ndala. Oogqirha kunyango baphulukana nomdla kwaye bandikhupha esibhedlele.

Kungekudala emva kokugxothwa ndaba ngumKristu, kuba ndandikade ndibucekisa ubuKristu. Ndasamkela ngovuyo ukholo lwam olutsha. Amanye amakholwa ayelumkile, ukuba ayengabinanzondo kwixa elidlulileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ekugqibeleni ndaye ndafumana iqela elincinci lamakholwa elaliqonda kwaye lixhasa isikhundla sam. Ngokuthe ngcembe, njengoko ndandiqhubeka nokugxila kukholo lwam, i-ambivalence yesini iyancipha.

Kwiminyaka elandelayo ndiye ndadibana nabantu abaninzi abanamava afanayo. Ukuqhubela phambili ekusombululeni ubungqingili babo ngokwesini ngenkxaso yobuqu yenkxaso yabantu kunye namaqela amancinci-ayibobukristu. Kwakuloo minyaka inye ndiye ndafumana ithuba lokudibana nogqirha abanamava nabasosayensi abanamava bonke abagxininise ukuba ayikho inzululwazi esemgangathweni yokuxhasa umbono wokuba ukuchasana ngokwesini kunokuconjululwa kuphela ngonyango.

Namhlanje, ngoku ndineminyaka engamashumi asixhenxe, ndibona ngokuthabatheka ngurhulumente kunye neenzame zokwenza umthetho ofanelekileyo wokuziphatha okuguqukayo kunye nokufana nokuyeka ngokusemthethweni abantu abanjalo namaqela abuyiselweyo. Ukugweba amaqela anjalo kunye nabantu kungalingana, ngokoluvo lwam, lomthetho unyanzelisa amalungu eAnxila angaziwa ukuba ahlangane kwii-pubs nakwiindawo zokugcina iwayini.

UMarie H.

Ndibhala oku ukuba ndiwabelane ngenkxaso emangalisayo endiyifumene kule minyaka ingama-15 idlulileyo okanye kwindawo endinomdla kuyo. Ndandinomtsalane wesini esifanayo ongafunekiyo ukubuyela kude njengoko ndinokukhumbula (ngokunokwenzeka ukusuka kubudala be-8 okanye i-9 ubuncinci) kwaye ndaqonda kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ukuba ezi yayingezizo iimvakalelo abantu abaninzi abanazo.

Ndaba ngumkristu xa ndandiphantse ndaba yi-20 kwaye ngenxa yokuqiniseka kwam ukuba ubufanasini babungeyonxalenye yesicwangciso sikaThixo sobomi bam ndifuna uncedo lokujongana nomtsalane ongafunekiyo kunye neengcinga endiye ndanazo. NDILUFUME olu ncedo kwaye ndinombulelo ongazenzisiyo kuba ndikwazile ukulifumana njengoko eli yayilixesha elinzima kakhulu ebomini bam. Ndaziva ndilahlekile kwaye ndididekile kwaye ndinemibuzo emininzi. Ndizifundile iincwadi ezichaza ukuba ubufanasini asiyonto ozalwa nayo, kodwa yinto eveliswa ngokubanzi / ngenxa yoluhlu lwezinye izinto ebomini bakho. Ndiyifumene le iyinyani kubomi bam.

Ndandihlukunyezwa ngokwesini xa ndandiyi-8 okanye i-9, andizange ndidibane kakuhle nomama kwaye ngenxa yoko ke ndafuna uthando kwabasetyhini abadala, ndinotata owayendiphatha gadalala kwaye elawula kwaye wandicima amadoda. Ndaye kwiqela lenkxaso endilifumene liluncedo ngendlela emangalisayo, ukukwazi ukuxoxa kunye nokuhambahamba ngale micimbi nabanye abantu ababenamabali afanayo. Ndaye ndakhangela-kucetyiswa umntu ngamnye, endaye ndakwenza oko iminyaka emininzi. Oku nako kuluncedo kakhulu kwaye ihlala iyinto endandivakalelwa kukuba indifumene ngamanye amaxesha obunzima. Ndiye ndakwazi ukuthetha nabantu abaninzi kwiicawe ezandixhasa ngothando, ngomthandazo nenkxaso.

Ndingumntu owahlukileyo namhlanje. Ndiye ndasebenza kuyo yonke le micimbi kususela mandulo kwaye ndafumana unyango oluninzi. Ndinabanye abazokuma ecaleni kwam kwinkolelo zam zenkolo kwaye baqhubeke ukundithandazela xa ndinobunzima kule ndawo. Ndisenomtsalane wesini esifanayo kodwa iphantsi kakhulu komcimbi kum namhlanje kunokuba kwakunjalo kwi-15 eyadlulayo. Ayisiyeki njengokuchitha kwaye ayisiyo indlela endizichaza ngayo. NdingumKristu kuqala kunye nokuphambili. Ngoku nditshatile kwaye ndihlala ubomi obumnandi bomtshato.

Andazi ukuba ngendinokuphila njani ngaphandle kwenkxaso endiyifumeneyo, ivela kwiicawe, abantu abathile kunye nemibutho ebikhonze ukundixhasa ngeendlela ezininzi kule minyaka idlulileyo. Baninzi abanye abafana nam abafuna inkxaso namhlanje, kwaye abaya kuyifuna kwikamva. Zininzi izinto endizaziyo kubomi bungqingili abangonwabanga kwaye abangathanda ukufumana indlela yokuphuma kodwa abakholelwa ukuba inokwenzeka kuba ibibanjwe ziintamo zethu (yi-LGBTQ + media / ajenda) yotshintsho olunokwenzeka kwaye ukuba abantu bazalwe benobungqingili, ngenxa yoko akukho ndlela yokuphuma kwaye kufuneka 'bazamkele ngokwabo'. Ukuba abantu bakhetha ukuqhubeka bephila ngale ndlela, lukhetho lwabo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba abantu 'bakhetha' ukushiya indlela yokuphila ye-LGBTQ kwaye bafuna inkxaso yokwenza njalo, nako kukhetha kwabo (kunye nokwam).

Asifanele sithintelwe ekufuneni uncedo kuba nje abanye benganqweneli ukuba luncedo. Akukho nkxaso / 'unyango lokuguqula' lunyanzeliswa kuye nabani na. Ukuba abantu bafuna inkxaso kwaye kamva batshintshe iingqondo, banokuhamba ngokukhululekileyo. Kodwa musa ukususa ukhetho kwabo bafuna kwaye baxabise kwaye badinga inkxaso enjalo. Ukuba awukho mthethweni inkxaso enjalo, kubandakanya ukuthandaza, ukucetyiswa, njl njl, uya kuva malunga nabantu abafuna inkxaso kodwa abangayifumaniyo kwaye bathathe ubomi babo, kuba bayakuhlala betsaliwe ngumtsalane wabo wesini esifanayo kwaye bakholelwa ukuba akukho ingaphandle lee.

Simele ukuba lilizwe elikhululekileyo. Ke, ndiyakucela, ungavumeli ezi 'zonyango' zibe luncedo olukhulu kum nakwabanye abaninzi endibaziyo. Vumela abantu banenkululeko yokuzikhethela yokufuna inkxaso ukuba banqwenela. Le nkxaso nothando endilifumeneyo sesesezinye zezipho zexabiso elikhulu endakha ndafumana. Ndithandazela ukuba abanye babe namathuba afanayo nam endikhe ndanawo.

UIno C.

Igama lam ndingu Irene kwaye ndingumntu wesini esitshatileyo. Ndikhulele kwiNtshona yeSydney kwii80's kwaye ndinengxaki yokufikisa ngenxa yokuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo komntwana, ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi notywala ukuze kujongane neziphumo zezi. Iziyobisi notywala zabangela ezinye iingxaki; ukunqunyanyiswa kwesikolo (emva kokuba isikolo sam sikhutshelwe ngaphandle kweMuseum Art Museum xa ndafika ndinxila ndingaboni), udlwengulo (ngelixa linxila), lwaphumela ngaphandle kwepaki yeekaravani (ngenxa yokunxila kunye negalelo lam kwabanye abahlali / iindwendwe) Kwakukho kwaye neziganeko ezininzi ezifanayo ngelixa ndiphethwe ziyobisi okanye utywala obunefuthe elibi kakhulu kubomi bam.

Oku kwatshintsha kum xa ndandineminyaka eyi-19 xa ndaba ngumkristu. Ukulandela oku ndancedwa yicawa yam ndayeka ukusebenzisa iziyobisi notywala kwaphela. Nje ukuba ndithambe ngokwaneleyo ndakwazi ukusebenza imbali yam endikholelwa ukuba yandichaphazela kakubi kwaye ikhokelela kwisiphithiphithi malunga nesini sam. Icawe yam, ngelo xesha, yayindinceda ngengcebiso kunye nokufumana izibonelelo eziluncedo kunye nolungiselelo olunokundixhasa ngohambo lwam. Oku kube luncedo kakhulu, kwaye ndiyakholelwa ukuba kusindise ubomi bam.

Emva kokufumana olu ncedo ndaye ndaya kwiDyunivesithi njengomfundi ovuthiweyo kwaye ndagqiba izidanga, emva kweminyaka eyi-4, ndinesidanga kwi-Social Work (iklasi yokuqala honour) andikholwa ukuba ibinokwenzeka ukuba ndiyifumene le ngaphandle kwenkxaso endiyifumene kum. Icawe kunye neenkonzo ezahlukeneyo zobuKristu kunye nezixhobo ezandincedayo ukwenza ukuba ndiqonde ubungqingili bam. Uncedo endalufumanayo lundincedile ukuba ndikwazi ukukhetha malunga nolwazi ngekamva endilifunayo kwaye landinika izixhobo endizifunayo ukuze ndizimisele.

Ndiyakholelwa ukuba abantu banelungelo lokuzikhethela indlela yabo kwaye inkululeko yokuthetha kunye nokufikelela kulo lonke ulwazi kubalulekile. KwiDyunivesithi besihlala sithelekisa izimvo kunye neethiyori ezichaseneyo, ngokuqinisekileyo into ebaluleke kunye nesigqibo sobomi njengezokwabelana ngesondo, kufuneka sibe nalo ithuba elifanayo. Ngaba andinguye, njengokwabelana ngesondo esifanayo nomKristu, ndinelungelo lokufumana nayiphi na inkxaso kunye nezinto endizifumana ziluncedo, nokuba zihlukile kumbono odumileyo.

Isylvester.

Kumaxesha akutsha nje kuye kwakho ukuchukunyiswa yimithetho eyahlukeneyo yezomthetho kuzwelonke nakwamanye amazwe ukunqanda into ebizwa ngokuba 'kukuguqula' okanye unyango lwangasemva lokunceda abantu bayeke ubufanasini nokuba bangabi nayo leminqweno. Ndinqwenela ukuhambisa ubungqina bam malunga nezixhobo zonyango kuba ndiyindoda eye yangenelwa kakhulu kukuzisebenzisa. Ukuba ndingavunyelwa ukuba ndenze njalo ubomi bam, kunye nobabanye, bungahlwempuzeka kakhulu.

Ndingumntu okhe wafumana umdla wesini esifanayo (ubungqingili), kwaye waphila ngale ndlela phantse iminyaka emihlanu. Ndiyaqhuba ndineminqweno enjalo engafunekiyo kwaye andisafuni kunqwenela ukuhlala nayo. Izizathu zam zokungafuni lo mnqweno ziphinde zibekho ngenxa yokuba 1) ndingumKristu kwaye ndilandela amazwi eemfundiso zeNkosi noMsindisi wam Yesu Krestu-elilungelo lam lentando yesininzi kunye nelungelo langaphambili - kunye ne-2) kuba ndakuba ndifana nomntu wesini esinye amava okuba ndonakalise kakhulu kum nakwabo ndenza nabo.

Phantse iminyaka emihlanu ndandihlala njengefanasini esebenzayo, kwaye ekugqibeleni ndayeka. Nangona kunjalo, ngokuchasene nentsomi ethandwayo, andizange ndenze esi sigqibo kuba ndandicinezelwa; ayenzelwanga ngenxa 'ye-Homophobia' (nantoni na enokuthetha) ayenzelwanga kuba icawa yandhlasela; kwaye ayenzelwanga kuba iBhayibhile indixelele ukuba ndenze njalo (nangona yayiyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yayo) ndayeka kuba ndandingafuni kuphila ngaloo ndlela. Ndifumanise ukuba isimo sobufanasini siyingozi ngoba ngexesha endikulo, andalufumana ulonwabo, ukuzalisa ubudlelwane bezesondo, okanye umntu endinokwabelana naye ngobomi; Endaweni yoko, ndafumana iindlela ezingathandekiyo zokwabelana ngesondo ngamadoda anamagama angazange ndazi nendawo endandihlala kuyo ndisoyika ukuba ndingade ndinyamezele yi-HIV / AIDS. Ndifumene abantu abakukhathaleleyo "ukuzihlalela okwangoku" kunye nokunye okuncinci. Ngela xesha, ndandisele ndilikhoboka lokukhanuka kwaye ndiziphoxe njengoko abanye bezithoba kwithemba elingelolize lokufumana enye indoda eyayiza kundinika uthando endandilulangazelela. Ndaba luswele kakhulu, narcissistic, kunye nokuzingca, kwaye ndandixakekile ukugxeka abanye kumsindo wam malunga nokuba buye njani ubomi bam.

Ekugqibeleni, ndayishiya yonke loo nto. Ngoku ndikwiminyaka yam engama-40 nditshatile ndinabantwana ababini kodwa ndisanqwenela ukhululeka ekutshateni kwabantu besini esinye endinaso. Ngendlela yokundinceda ngobufanasini bam obungafunekiyo, ndiye kwezentlanganiso ezahlukeneyo zokuthandazela kunye nolungiselelo lobuKristu olunikezelwe ukunceda abantu kubufanasini. Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndafumana ugqirha wonyango ongumKristu, endisambona nangoku, ukuba andincede ukuba ndijongane nemithombo yobungqingili bam ngoba ndiqinisekile ndinqwenela ukukhululeka kule minqweno. Akukho nanye kwezi nkonzo kunye nonyango oluye lwandibeka uxinzelelo kum okanye nakubani na ukuba alushiye ubungqingili: Mna nabanye abaziinkonzo zethu ngokuzithandela. Kwaye ziyasebenza. Ndizifumene, njengesiphumo sokufikelela kwezixhobo ezinjalo, ukuphulukana nomtsalane wam wesini esifanayo kubini kunye nokuqina. Baye bandinceda ukujongana nezinye iingxaki ezininzi ezinjengokungakhathali, uloyiko, ukungazithembi, ukuthandabuza, ukuzicaphukisa, umsindo kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba.

Ndikufumanisa kunzima ukukholelwa ukuba oorhulumente bade bacinga ngokuvala izibonelelo ezinjalo. Ukuba umntu namhlanje ufuna ukutshintsha isini sakhe sebhayoloji, urhulumente akanangxaki nalonto, kutheni ke evala unyango ukunceda abantu abanomtsalane wesini esifanayo? Ukuba umntu obhinqileyo unqwenela ukwenza utyando lokucoca ukuze atshintshe ubuso bakhe, kutheni kungekho semthethweni? Ukuba indoda ifuna ukulwa notywala kwaye inqwenela ukufikelela kwiingcebiso (lololunye uhlobo lonyango olubuyisayo, akunangxaki ngegama elifana ne "cognitive therapy"), ayivumelekanga ukuba ifumane uncedo oluyidingayo? Ukuba abanye abantu bafuna ukuziqhelanisa nobungqingili kunye nabantu abathandanayo nabazithandayo, banenkululeko yokulandela olo khetho; enyanisweni, intengiso ye-pro-gay eSydney kutshanje ethathe inxaxheba “kwi-Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras” (singasathethi ke ngeNkqubo “yeZikolo eziKhuselekileyo”) iyabakhuthaza abantu ukuba babone ubufanasini njengenye indlela efanelekileyo. Ke kutheni urhulumente ezama ukundinyanzela ukuba ndenze ukhetho oluthile ngobomi bam kwaye ndinciphise ukhetho lwam? Kum, lonto ayibalulekanga kwaphela, ayinamkhethe, kwaye nangokuzenzisa. Njengomrhafi kunye nommi onamalungelo enkululeko yokuhlangana nokuthetha, ndiyathemba ukuba uza kuphila ngendlela endinqwenela ngayo, kwaye afikelele noncedo endiludingayo. Oovimba abazukuhlutha abanye ilungelo labo lokuphila kubufanasini ngendlela abanqwenela ngayo - iyandivumela (nabanye) ukuba baphile ubomi endibukhethileyo, ekungekho namnye umntu onokundixelela indlela yokuphila.

Ngokunjalo ndiyabongoza bonke oorhulumente, abezopolitiko, iinkokheli zoluntu kunye neziphathamandla zoluntu ukuba zilushiye olo nyango lungelulo ngokulenza kungabikho mthethweni, ukukhusela inkululeko yenkolo, kwaye bangavalelwa kwizinhanha ezinabantu abanxanelwe ukuvalwa kwezinto bayithiyile kwaye abayiqondi. Ukuba ukuvalwa okunjalo bekuya kwenzeka ngekhe kungokwenza ukuba unyango lube semthethweni, kodwa kuya kuzibhubhisa mna nabanye ekwenzeni izigqibo zedemokhrasi ngenene ngobomi bethu. Ngubani abanye abandixelela ukuba ndibuphile njani ubomi bam?